Week 9

Power Ranking*
1. Sack Lunch
2. Bobby Bruton
3. Drive By Tuckers
4. Chiefs AF
5. Fort Dix Fuzzy Tacos
6. Bush League
7. Adam's Legit Team
8. Grown Man's Poop
9. Burning Sensations
10. Southern Comfort
11. Noodle Soup
12. Show me your TD's


Game of the Week

Drive By Tuckers 151.92 vs Sack Lunch 92.38

DBT doesn't get mentioned much in the writeups, and don't expect to see them much here moving forward. But, a message was sent last week, to both the team that is still the 900 pound gorilla with a chainsaw for a penis **, and to the rest of the league***.

Hot Takes

-That thing that Bob did to Grown Man's Poop may have been the nail in the coffin for Poop. All season long poop had finagled his way through the season with low point totals. His stated goal for the season was to make the playoffs as the lowest scoring team in the league. Well, that is only possible if you keep winning, and this week Poop went off the rails. At first glance his record seems fine, in fact he is tied, record wise with the 5th and 6th place teams. He is significantly behind both teams, however in points scored, and would also be significantly behind all the 4-5 teams that are behind him as well. If he wants a chance poop needs to start scoring many, many more points, and hope for things to get really weird for the teams ahead of him.

-Fort Dix is actually a better version of Grown Man's Poop. Dix is squarely in the playoff picture, for the first time since joining the league, but needs to keep winning. He is tied for the best record, but has the lowest point total in the top 6, and has less than one team not in the top 6. Dix should be fine as long as he remembers: W.W.H.E.D?

-Looking ahead to next week, the most noteworthy game post-season wise is probably Bush League vs. Fort Dix. Bush is behind Dix in the standings but, like we said, has significantly fewer points. This is a big opportunity for both teams to make a Daniel Laruso like power move****.

-That's all for this week. Horrible luck to all of you in Week 10.

*The World's most advanced metric

**That would be Sack Lunch

***And that message is, "As soon as this publishes, Ezekial Elliot and Alving Kamara will suffer simultaneous knee injuries, Andrew Luck's shoulder will fall off, and Julio Jones will be suspended for being an alien mixed with a race horse".

****I'd call moving to a new school and stealing Johnny Lawrence's girl friend a power move.